Grey Thoughts

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The Stabbing

It happened so fast. The black kid grabbed her purse. She stabbed him. The steel blade pierced his heart. He stumbled back a few feet and fell dead to the street. She picked up her purse and without thinking wiped the bloodied knife on his body. Forgetting where she had intended to go. She walked numbly back to her apartment, locked the door and stared blankly into space. The spinning thoughts in her head settled into something like sense.

She looked down at the knife in her hand. She wiped off the slight trace of blood still visible. The ivory-handled stiletto was cruelly beautiful. She’d always thought that, even though it scared her. She pushed the button. The blade clicked fiercely back inside like a steely tiger retracting it’s claws.

Ruby’s boyfriend in high school gave her the knife. He wanted her to have something, even if only a knife, to defend herself. The neighborhood was getting rougher. Ruby didn’t think she needed a knife. She didn’t think she’d be able to use it. It was beautiful though, and It meant a lot to her boyfriend to give her some protection.

She took it.

After high school her boyfriend was sent to Vietnam. She never saw him again. She kept the knife in the top drawer of her dresser. Sometimes she took the knife out to look at it. Sighing, she thought of her old boyfriend . . . Suddenly - The gleaming blade snapped into action with the speed of a malevolent viper. She had accidentally touched the button.

She carefully clicked it back inside its pearly sheath and put it the dresser drawer.

There it remained for the next ten years. The neighborhood had gotten more dangerous. Ruby remembered the knife. Now, she carried it with her when she walked alone, especially at night. It made her feel safer, even though she didn’t really know how to use it. Ruby was a gentle soul. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to stab another person if she ever had to. It was unpleasant to think about. She stopped thinking about it.

Ruby stayed in her apartment most of the time. She took the bus downtown to work; she walked to the Italian grocery down the street. That was about it. She was afraid of the streets. Still, she had to go out for groceries once a week. She never went more than the few blocks to Luigi’s Italian Mart. Sometimes she would see scary-looking young men lounging on the street. She would cross to the other side and continue on her way.

Luigi’s had been there all her life. Luigi’s, her apartment, and the street between, were Ruby’s world. She was afraid of the other streets. She felt almost safe in this small world between her apartment and Luigi’s. She felt safer when she touched the pearl-handled switchblade in her pocket.

There were no problems until that night. She had overslept and missed her morning trip to Luigi’s. She didn’t get finally dressed and out until late afternoon. It was getting darker. She hurried along. She didn’t see the kid until he grabbed her purse.

It happened so fast.


By K. L. Shipley

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