A short story based on the things that live deep inside my mind

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I saw you wipe your tears today, yeah you didn't hear me walking into the kitchen.

I looked at you and asked what's wrong hating the cold counter top under my hand.

You looked back at me and said it's just been a long day and that you are tired, if I could go back I would.

If only I knew what you meant.

If only I saw you through the mist.

I saw you throw away your food today and when I asked why you said you're not hungry and that you just want to sleep.

If I knew what this meant I would have changed the little things.

I would have begged you to eat.

I walked into the bedroom last night, yeah I spent another night on the couch.

As I stepped in I saw you laying there, you looked so small. So broken. I climbed into bed next to you and you cracked a smile.

It felt warm but it looked so cold.

I asked if you're okay and you told me you're fine.

I looked at your arms in the dimly lit room and the red lines stood out.

When I asked you what happened even though I knew, you told me it was just the cat whom got mean.

I went to work this morning and left a note on the fridge that talked about how much I love you and that you're my world.

Looking back now I should've known that a note wouldn't change anything.

I should have known what I would find.

If only I stayed home.

I came back with a feeling I couldn't explain, it was like I knew what you did.

I walked into the apartment my blood running cold as I hear the echo of water dripping in the bathroom.

I stood there for a while, my back against the wall and my breathing shallow, when I finally found the courage I walked into the bathroom and surely there you were

Your lips were baby blue and your eyes closed. Your lips in a twisted smile, you looked more at peace then when you were alive.

I prayed that you're alive but I knew the answer long before the paramedics arrived. Long before I came home that day.

I knew.

By Marina Vos