Forgiveness is the other part of sorry.

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There is a saying much abused - Never apologize. Never explain. A more useful version might be - Always apologize. Never explain. How many times have you heard someone say, “ I’m sorry, but . . . The, conjunction - “but” - destroys the apology. If you’re sorry, say so. Then stop. If you’re asked to explain, then do so. Otherwise, wait for another time. Better yet become the person you weren’t when you had to apologize.

Bad things should be explained, but, not when you’re apologizing.

Some apologies aren’t apologies at all, instead, they’re diversions - “Yes, yes. Okay. You’re right. I’m sorry . . . Can we move on now?”. Dodging is obvious to all, especially ladies. They have a built-in insincerity detector. Men tend to think they can slip around it. They can’t. After you’ve fessed-up to your ill-considered word or act, there is still the matter of redemption. You’re not redeemed until you change your behavior.

This is where sorry goes to die.

Changing your own behavior requires personal commitment. That can be tough to do - though if you’re really sorry - it will be easy.

Some people apologize too much. You needn’t apologize for what you’re convinced is right. In such cases, reasoned argument is needed. Agreement may not be reached, but clarity often can be. You can agree to disagree. It’s perfectly polite.

Say, “I’m sorry”, when you are. Defend your ground when you think you should.

Forgiveness is the other part of sorry.

When apology is not followed by forgiveness little good is done for anyone. They must be coupled for full effect. Many find forgiveness harder than apology. It’s natural to lick our wounds and hate those who caused them. It is never right. Nature is what we were put in this world to overcome. Animals cannot control their instincts.

We should.

Those who cling to unforgiveness punish themselves. They also punish the innocent around them. They do not punish those who wronged them.

Picking at wounds keeps them bleeding. Then bleeding becomes a way of life, suffering, becomes identity – misery waiting for revenge - or death. I understand why such romantic movie-like identities appeal to the suffering victims. I don’t understand why it seems impossible to move on to a better role in a more pleasant movie?

I have sympathy for those who can’t forgive. I don’t understand why they can’t. Suffering gallantly is admirable. Suffering endlessly is not.

We have all done our share of thoughtless wrong as we stumbled through this world.

Your fault? My fault? Who isn’t at fault? Who doesn’t need to say, “I’m sorry”. Who hasn’t foolishly nursed a grudge in vain unforgiveness?

We apologize that we may deserve apology. We forgive that we may be forgiven.

Whom among us is righteous enough to cast stones. We are all miserable sinners. Shouldn’t we be first to forgive. Yes . . . Well . . . But . . . There are no buts about it. We have a God-given ability to apologize, repent, and forgive. We should use that ability to make life easier - for me - for you - and everyone else.

That’s not my opinion. I have it by the highest example of the greatest authority.

I am reminded every Easter.

“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do”.

Luke 23:34

King James Holy Bible

By K. L. Shipley

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