This is a story about a young woman's battles in her love for her partner and embracing all the torn parts in her.

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I am in my head once more, drugged by the breath from your lungs.

It is heavily dark and intoxicating but you and I both know that I am your girl; the girl who can take anything you bring forth. I have fought by your side. I have battled demons down to the ground for you. The smoke from the bodies I have mortified for you still hangs but in all the obscurity and vagueness I search for your holy face shining from way above. We all come with our own shares of karmic debt and oh, the unpleasant thought that you are mine!

Let me in on your secret.

We share in this epiphany but it leaves you unscathed. They have sucked into my flesh and fed into my blood but in all justice they leave my heart untouched. Why would they not rip it all out? How do they know that I store all my love for you in there and that is the only weakness of mine?

Reason with me and pay mind to my question. How will this hypnosis, a short fleeting delay be the cure to my lovesick? It burns in me like a fever, coursing in me like a stormy wind in the darkest of seas. I have loved you in graphic and in detail.

In my life you are the centerpiece.

You are the sun and even I, orbit around you.

So meet me at the meadow or maybe at the steps behind the cathedral. We will draw the shadows of the sun on the ground and maybe this will be my only chance of an atonement; an answer. If I ever wanted to find God, it is now more than ever. Ask him the questions I have been trying to read in between your eyes. In between your blinks and your pauses, in between the words that choke you, the words you say under your breath, the words that travel around your head and tie a noose around your neck. I would entirely surrender all for a conversation with God.

But again I am ripped into living because you exist.

If in hearts both big and true;

Souls little and lost. Give me renaissance, and I will make you feel my love.

Paint rainbows in my eyes and I will hold your feet to the ground.

Even shooting stars will always need a place to land.

I am a mass of invisibility. How would you love me? I love to sit in my despair and the rigid frays that make my thoughts. Do you like the darkness humming bird? Do you feel a little less burden when your head is under water? How could you? You are the sun. You would not know how it feels to itch under your skin, a portable illness that follows you in the name of a shadow.

Beneath me, under me, all around me.

But again I am ripped into living because you exist.

By Kylla Makena

From: Kenya

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