Grey Thoughts

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But He Don't Hear Me

Could the calendar be wrong?
God it seems so awfully long,
Since I came to be with him,
Came here alone with him.
I speak, he just don’t hear.
I speak his minds somewhere.
He talks; I hear each word,
Listen; know what I’ve heard.
I hear all that he needs,
He tells me how he bleeds,
But he don’t hear me try,
Don’t know I’m gonna die.


I remember, its absurd,
Every lie and hurtful word,
And though he doesn’t hear me,
He often swears he loves me,
Brings home the daily bread,
And takes me to his bed.
Within I feel the way,
His words cut every day.
Says, I don’t like your friend,
You’re not seeing her again,
Or you’re not working there.
Or! Hey! What’s with your hair?
Girl you’re looking fat.
Who said to dress like that?
You’re made up like a whore.
My God you’re such a bore.
And who told you to think,
You’re such a silly dink.
Why’d you smile at my friend?
Are you playing round again?
Hey! You don’t need your car,
You can easy walk that far.
He speaks of mighty deeds,
And the sort of job he needs,
But he don’t hear me cry,
Wouldn’t think to wonder why.

My god, the walls are near.
I need another beer.
I smoke, I drink, I pray, 
Just to stay another day.
Because… I love him.
I just don’t want to hurt him.


Well, I walked away last week,
And he called me very meek.
Said, but babe I love you,
But babe, I need you.
Oh babe, you hurt me.
Why did you leave me?
And you can call your friend,
When you come back again.
I promise not to fight.
That stupid jobs all right.
The bills are such a mess,
And I love the way you dress.
You can have the car.
I’ll spend less time at the bar.
I’ll be home instead.
I miss you in my bed.
Cause babe, I love you.
Cause babe, I need you.
You can’t just hurt me.
You can’t just leave me.


First, he sounded sad,
Then he got so mad.
Said, he knew it in his gut,
I was just another slut.
I tell him how I feel,
To him it isn’t real.
I speak, he just don’t hear.
I speak, he just not there.
Says, Babe I love you.
Says, Please I love you.
Says he wants me,
Needs to have me ……
But…. he doesn’t hear me!

 

By Roger C Horton