Unless you’re a time traveler from the nineteenth century you probably know what a side chick is. According to the ever so (NOT!) reliable urban dictionary a side chick is the millennial word for the ‘other woman’ or ‘mistress’: a female that is neither a male’s wife nor girlfriend who has relations with the male while he is in another relationship. Or like my gossipy neighbour would call it ‘son galan’. Let’s be real here: this side chick phenomenon is prevalent in our society…so much so that there is a desperate need for this small article. So sit down, grab a cuppa and let me tell you about all the nasty realities behind being a side chick.

1. He’ll (most-likely) never leave her

Let’s get this over and done with, let’s rip this like a bandage. He is never going to leave her, Becky!!! Stop deluding yourself and face reality. Oh, we all have this friend who knows a friend who knows a friend that went from being a guy’s side chick to his main chick. And perhaps that’s true but that’s an exception to the rule (refer to He Is Not That Into You). Statistics have shown that guys rarely (if ever) leave their significant other for their mistresses and even if they do that relationship never pans out well. But if you’re STILL harbouring the secret desire that he’ll leave her for you I have this to ask you: Why do you want to build a life with a cheater in the first place? He is cheating on her WITH YOU! You’re the other woman, not the only woman. While he’s telling her he loves her he is also playing hide the snake with you so what makes you think he’ll be faithful to you? Surely this is not the kind of Prince Charming fairy-tales are about, right?

2. It will be fun…at first

I was 20 when I found myself in a relationship with a taken guy. It was fun and the sex was fantastic. We were both extremely adventurous and the thrill of the forbidden heightened the passion. So yeah you’ll have your fun, ripping off each other’s clothes in a cheap guesthouse in La Louise but that gets tired real quickly. Not to mention it’ll be tiring for the side chick who is expected to provide the guy with bomb ass porno-style sex each and every single time. I don’t know about you, but I consider myself average when it comes to sex. I mean I have my moments (remember the Nutella sex Obi?) but coming up with new sexual ways to please my partner is not fun. Because even if you’ve never met his babe you’ll feel in direct competition with her. Does she kiss better than you? Is the sex more amazing with her? Does she make him laugh? You’ll want to prove to him that you’re better. Not to mention the jealousy that comes after you’ve grown attached to him. Unfortunately though you’ll have to respect the side bitch motto of “Know Thy Role” which basically means you must know that your role is merely to provide a little fun now and then. Valentine’s Day? It ain’t yours. His birthday? Nuh-uh sweetie pie. You won’t be allowed to blow up his phone or comment on his Facebook posts or like his Instagram pictures. You’ll quickly realise that everything is on his terms and that would pretty much suck.

3. You’ll be vilified, he’ll be the victim

Ah this one!! Personally, I have no sympathy for side chicks (even though I was one myself).Want to know why? You are willingly playing homewrecker for sport. If every single side chicks in the world started saying no, there’ll be a whole bunch of guys out there trying to give their relationship a second chance. Once the main chick learns of your existence you will be painted as the slut who tore up her relationship. Most of the times the guy will get off scot-free. I remember when the girlfriend of my lover found out about our involvement (it was March 14th 2015) and I was called all names. The guy panicked so much and was telling me I had to back off. So back off I did. Two years later and they’re still dating and have one baby boy together. Moral of the story: He ain’t for you gurl! You won’t have nothing to show from this relationship except for a bunch of lies, deceits and secret rendezvous (and if you’re one of those unlucky ones, a baby and some herpes). One thing I found I had to do after that relationship ended was analyse my self-worth and build up my self -esteem and THEN I realised I was too full of life, too full of love, too full of possibilities for a cheating nigga. So honey I hope you also figure out you’re too much of a woman (and too damn cute!) to be a side chick.

Always,

Deluxe Culture.

Website: https://deluxeculture.wordpress.com

Twitter: LcPointe